Client Testimonials
Everyone's story is different. Each of our clients has their own unique story about how they courageously reached out for support at some of the most difficult points in their lives. We want to make space here for some of the people who have come to Choices to share their stories anonymously so that you can see that no-one has to face any situation alone. Whatever your story, you have Choices.
If you’d like to share your story for others to read, we’d love to hear from you. You can get in touch by email at info@choicescharity.org.
Cassie’s story
Cassie came to us when she found out she was pregnant and didn't know what to do. She said:
"I am so grateful to Choices for providing a non-judgemental, supportive space and invaluable help working through the complicated feelings I had in finding out I was pregnant. I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant at five weeks. Shocked, scared, feeling I neither wanted to have a baby or a termination, I reached out to Choices.
I was quickly booked in for a one-hour online session with one of their counsellors. She immediately made me feel at ease. I was able to talk openly and frankly, without fear of judgement, about how overwhelmed I felt, and about the concerns I had both around having a baby and a termination. The support helped me to clarify my confusion. After our first session I received notes laying out my thoughts/feelings and gains/losses as I had described them. I cannot tell you how invaluable it was to receive this and see my feelings and many fears written in a clear structure. It helped to simplify the decision at a time of feeling so confused. We subsequently had 2 more sessions to further explore the crippling fear and stuckness I felt about making this decision, both were so helpful. I came to the service because I didn't know where else to turn. I was feeling lonely, afraid and guilty for not knowing what I wanted. Choices and their wonderful counsellors provided me with a safe space and the support I needed to work through a complex maze of heavy feelings and reach a decision about my pregnancy. I am beyond grateful to the team at Choices!"
Laura’s story
Laura attended post-abortion counselling at Choices, she said:
“I came to Choices because I found out I was pregnant and I knew I really wanted kids but I wasn’t particularly ready for them. I had just finished University and I didn’t have a proper job. I was just really struggling with this decision. I also didn’t have a very supportive family to talk it all through, so my friend recommended to Choices.
The difference Choices made was that it helped me process all of my feelings and emotions so that I could come out on a better side of this. I was really struggling with the decision, I think I was even suicidal at one point and having suicidal thoughts. I was very depressed and ended up on antidepressants, but therapy helped me to get through all of that.
If I could describe Choices in one word, it would be ‘magic’. Why, because life is weird and sometimes not everyone has people to help them get through things and that’s what therapy is for!”
Grace’s story
Grace discovered she was pregnant, she wanted to continue with the pregnancy but felt she had to consider the wishes of her partner who didn't want to have a child with her. She felt desperate and didn’t know how she would cope practically as a single parent without support from her partner. Grace had a termination and tried to carry on as normal but found herself struggling to come to terms with her experience. She didn’t know how to tell her family and friends that she was still suffering months later.
In her search for help Grace found Choices and came for counselling. At first, she found it difficult to work through her challenging feelings, but she persevered to come through it stronger and with a greater understanding of herself.
She said: “It’s impossible for me to over-emphasise the changes that have happened in my life since [counselling] …. I am in a relationship with someone who loves and respects me, I have just bought my own flat for the first time and am taking steps to increase my self-confidence. The changes have occurred in pretty much every area of my life and I can’t describe how different I feel.
I still look back on my abortion with sadness but I no longer feel that it defines me as a person and I believe I can have a happy future. Sadly, complications from my abortion mean that I may never be able to have my own children but I'm facing all potential futures with hope and a belief that whatever happens I have the strength to get through it.”
Kadri’s story
Kadri is typical of many women in prison, she grew up in a dysfunctional family, with an absent father and a mother who had her own mental health issues. As a result, Kadri did not receive the nurture and care that she needed. She left school early and soon found herself using drugs and attaching herself to partners who abused her.
While abusing drugs and living on the streets she became pregnant and had a son. Despite making every effort to change and to learn how to become a good mother, she lost her custody battle and her son was taken into care. Later on, she had two more pregnancies, both of which ended in her babies being removed at birth. Kadri was now spending her sixth sentence in prison for drug related offences. During this sentence she decided she was tired of the way she was living and asked to be referred for counselling to help to process the loss of custody of her three children.
During her early counselling sessions, Kadri felt safe enough to cry for the first time in her life. Through therapy she was able to explore her past and gain a newly-felt sense of self-worth and purpose in life.
Kadri is about to be released from prison. She plans to never go back again. She eventually hopes to be able to support women who are in similar situations as she once was.
Sue’s story
Sue came to Choices for unplanned pregnancy support, she was in a fairly new relationship and was grateful that we were able to respond to her quickly. She wanted to talk about the different ways that the pregnancy was affecting her relationship which was making it harder to decide whether to continue the pregnancy or not.
Sue had previously had a termination for medical reasons and knew that she didn't want to have go through it again. Her partner felt that the pregnancy was going to ruin their lives and was quite insistent that she have a termination. As Sue spoke to her counsellor she became more aware of her own feelings around the pregnancy. In her second session, she explained that she'd had time to reflect on her partners reaction to the pregnancy and was able to identify that it was bordering on abusive. Sue felt that she was now able to create some separation between herself and her partner, she was more confident in herself and decided to continue with the pregnancy.
She said: “I would really recommend Choices to anyone who's going through a difficult decision around an unplanned pregnancy. I liked that they were really arms open towards me and that anyone can use the service if they think it can be beneficial. I really appreciated how available Choices are and how quickly they responded to me.”
Mia’s story
Mia was in an unstable, year long relationship when she discovered she was pregnant. She did not want to be tied to her partner and was advised by those closest to her to have a termination. Not long after, Mia grew more and more anxious. For many weeks she didn’t think she deserved to feel better and yet she was desperate to find relief and a sense of peace.
Mia found Choices through her local GP and was able to get an initial appointment in a few days, she then stared counselling a few weeks later. Through 9 months of post-abortion counselling, she resolved the internal conflict between her head and heart as she explored the circumstances surrounding the choice that she had made.
Mia explained that the unconditional support she felt from her counsellor helped her to cope with the many tensions she had been facing in her daily life. Having someone unreservedly on her side made all the difference.
Mia got in touch a couple of years later, she said: “I just wanted to let you know that I have a three-week-old baby daughter and I’m getting married to a lovely man in July. I will always be grateful to you for how you helped me during my difficult time. I am so happy and feel very blessed. I just wanted to say thank you. I think what you do is amazing and I may not have my gorgeous family now if it weren’t for the time you spent with me.”
Afiyah’s story
Afiyah came to Choices after discovering she was pregnant. She was worried about whether her relatively new relationship would survive long-term and she was adamant that she did not want to be a single parent. Having previously suffered with depression, she was also worried about the impact a termination might have on her mental health. Although Afiyah seemed to be excited at the prospect of being a parent she was conflicted about whether it was realistic, especially as she was financially dependent on her parents.
Through Choices support, Afiyah was able to discuss her anxieties and to gain more clarity around her circumstances and her thought processes. She felt listened to and really appreciated how kind, approachable and understanding the counsellor was.
Eventually, she joined Choices' Befriending Service where she addressed some of her other practical concerns. Afiyah requested support through her university as well as for an ongoing disability, this meant that continuing the pregnancy felt less daunting. She also received free, pre-loved clothing for her baby to ease the financial pressures and help her feel more able to support her family.
Sandra’s story
Sandra was referred to Choices' perinatal counselling service after an unplanned pregnancy session. She'd decided to continue with the pregnancy but felt that the complex relationship she had with the baby's father was affecting her mental health and she was worried about her baby's wellbeing. During the sessions before she gave birth Sandra was able to talk about the context of her pregnancy and focus on the things that were most important to her. She spoke to her counsellor about her anxieties which were caused by her complicated relationship with the partner. She was also able to process her upcoming labour which was particularly worrying due to restriction caused by the pandemic.
Talking through her fears enabled her to come up with some practical solutions such as bringing her mum into the hospital room during labour and talking to her midwife about her worries. Sandra's anxiety was reduced and she was able to have a positive birthing experience.